The nagging question of what makes good children’s theatre would not leave me as the full house of grade two and threes from an Catholic Primary School screamed about me, encouraged to warn a fair and youthful Snow White (a natural performance by Zoe Ward) of the approach of the elaborately costumed Panda, Tiger and Possum (or was it an oversize rat?).

At the slightest incitement, they would warn the unsuspecting, and extremely naïve Snow White of the imminent arrival of the wicked and jealous stepmother. A grandmother smiled broadly. After all, she was probably lost in a wave of nostalgia of those glorious pantomime days of yesteryear. A teacher sat stern-faced, disturbed by the decibels and rather uncertain of the quality of the experience for a young tribe of willing Gen A participants.

I remember too well those holiday shows, reeking with the smell of grease paint melting in the spotlight, and energy-erupting performances of over blown characters bombasting the bemused and occasionally wailing audience with stupid stereotypes bumbling their way through the eternal battles of good versus evil. After the show, we would line up outside the theatre to talk to the excited children who would clamour or squirm and sometimes even feed the egos with their request for autographs.

That was then, and it was now as I snuck behind the characters lined up outside the Holden Street theatre after the show, ready to waylay the young audience for their comments and perhaps their praise. And the praise will come. The kids will eagerly mention their favourite characters. The girls will invariably mention Snow White. The boys may mention Sneezy, the huge, rapping Cool Dude, deserted by his other Cool Dudes a.k.a. The Seven Dwarfs. Now they would be vertically challenged people, but in a production as stereotypical and traditional as this one it seems appropriate to avoid any offence by removing the cause entirely.

It didn’t matter that the other members of the dudes weren’t there to work with the personal trainer (writer Alli Pope-Bailey) on the upcoming rapping championships. It would be really hip to get the kids to hop onto the stage and take the rapping place of the missing dwarfs. To watch some of the kids rapping away was cool I have to admit, and they were having a lot of fun, while their friends longingly watched on. Not fair really, but that’s audience participation. At least they all got the chance to scream together.

The nagging thought returned. Is this nothing more than an ailing dinosaur, struggling against extinction, or is this an attempt to throw in contemporary relevance and references at times, while wearing the suit of the traditional tale? The style clings to the archaic concepts of children’s theatre. The action maintains the energy levels, but does nothing to generate a new view of the world or help the audience to understand their place in a rapidly changing world. Theatre is not a museum. It is the mirror held up to the nature of its time.

Jally Productions imitates with forced vigour the relic of a bygone era. I longed for an imagination that would transport me through imagery, music, song and a fresh approach to a traditional tale, but in the end I was left with the predictable, the stereotypical and the banal.

Young people deserve something more extraordinary, more illuminating and more sensitive than screeching characters, purposefully purposeless manipulation, racist of references to the bad effect of sugary Jewish Yeast bread and the trite, ill-considered moral of “Don’t talk to strangers”. What a world of confinement they are doomed to inhabit.

Elaborate and nicely made costumes, cute costumed animals and lively, yet insincere performance in the art of coarse acting is not enough to do this story justice or reinvent it for a 21st century audience of young children. It’s just plain dopey and made this reviewer grumpy.

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